Infertility is often seen as a women’s issue, but the truth is that male infertility contributes to nearly half of all infertility cases. Despite this, men frequently feel forgotten in the conversation, leading to a damaging silence that isolates and stigmatises them. Byron Silver shares his story and FertilitySA counsellors share five ways you can start conversations about male infertility.
Infertility is often seen as a women’s issue, but the truth is that male infertility contributes to nearly half of all infertility cases. Despite this, men frequently feel forgotten in the conversation, leading to a damaging silence that isolates and stigmatises them.
“I think men can at times feel forgotten in the fertility process,” shares 37 year old male fertility health advocate Byron Silver, “it can be hard because our hearts are on the line and we know full well unlike our partner, it's not our bodies on the line”
Byron’s words resonate deeply. Male infertility is a reality that many men face, yet few feel comfortable discussing it. Changing this narrative starts with understanding the emotional toll of infertility and breaking the silence that surrounds it.
The hidden emotional toll
Infertility isn’t just a medical diagnosis - it’s an emotional journey that affects self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. Byron recalls the shock and pain of learning that he had a role to play in his and his wife’s inability to conceive.
“My wife and I both had issues impacting our fertility,” he says. “It wasn’t until I found out my sperm wasn’t as good as it could be that I started to accept that I was also contributing to the chance of us possibly never being parents.”
For many men, the weight of infertility feels compounded by societal expectations of masculinity. As Byron notes, “As men, we’re often expected to be ‘strong’ and ‘unaffected,’ but infertility impacts us deeply. It may not change our bodies but it can change our lives.”
The stigma surrounding male infertility often prevents men from sharing their feelings, leaving them to navigate a profoundly isolating experience.
Why talking about it matters
“Speaking about fertility is a weekly, sometimes daily conversation for me, as it should be,” Byron says. “It affects more than 1 in 6 couples. It’s a conversation that needs to be normalised.”
Normalising the conversation about male infertility can help break the stigma and create space for support. When men share their stories, they often discover they aren’t alone.
“Infertility is something I never expected to deal with, but here we are,” Byron reflects. “The more I talk about it, the more I realise how many others are in the same boat. Men need to know they aren’t alone in this.”
Byron recalls the profound connection he felt when he opened up to a colleague: “I said, ‘Us too,’ and suddenly the walls came down. So many people are afraid to share they’re struggling and unaware of how much support might be waiting for them.”
The power of vulnerability
Breaking the silence is not always easy. “I shared our fertility struggles right from the get-go,” Byron explains. “While the vulnerability to be so open comes with its hurdles, it also comes with so much connection and support.”
This openness not only helps the individual but also paves the way for a cultural shift. “It took time for me to realise that talking about our fertility journey was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of courage,” Byron says. “Every story shared brings us closer to normalising male infertility.”
Byron emphasises the importance of community and mutual understanding: “Supporting my wife through infertility is one of the most challenging experiences of my life. It’s hard to see someone you love in pain, but it’s harder to feel like you’re supposed to keep quiet about your own pain.”
FertilitySA Counsellors Have Shared Five Ways You Can Start Conversations About Male Infertility
If you’re struggling with infertility or know someone who is, starting a conversation can feel daunting. Here are five practical tips:
Choose the right moment
Find a time and place where you feel comfortable and won’t be interrupted.
Begin with honesty
Start with a simple truth, like, “This has been really hard for me, and I want to talk about it.”
Use “Us Too”
If someone else opens up about infertility, share your experience. You might discover a surprising connection.
Seek professional support
Consider reaching out to a counsellor or joining a support group for men facing similar challenges. Remember, FertilitySA counsellors are here to support you on your journey too.
Normalise the topic
Treat infertility as part of regular conversation. The more you talk about it, the less power the stigma has.
Male infertility is real, and it’s time to talk about it. By sharing their stories, men like Byron are proving that vulnerability is not a weakness - it’s a bridge to connection and healing.
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